In the spirit of the behind the scenes stuff I do over here on the website I want to get a little personal with everyone.
When this project started, I planned on doing daily films until I could no longer manage it (ideally forever though). I managed to maintain that for a good amount of time before it just became too much. As I have worked on improving the quality of my films each one takes longer to shoot and longer to edit. I also have a full-time job to pay the bills, other family responsibilities, and recently just began working on a start up with two other partners.
I also have books that need to be rewritten before I can send them for consideration to publishers, I have some websites to maintain and some other interests I don’t want to let slide. I thought I could manage it all but then a bunch of things went wrong at once. I got sick, my apartment got renovated, my job got more stressful, my depression flared up pretty bad, and then my workstation crapped out on me. A bunch of shit and I could no longer find the time needed to create how I want to create.
I was torn between making shit that I had no pride in or going on hiatus to deal with everything. I ended up going on a hiatus. Now everything is (mostly) sorted. My job is still busy and my apartment is still not renovated. I also can’t get open GL to work on my workstation video card any more but that’s okay because I have another computer that I can edit on. Long and short I have time again to dedicate to the project but not as much as when I started it (funny how life works like that).
I need to put time into the start up as well. I can’t work this dead-end job for the rest of my life. If I hit 40 and am still stuck in an office working for some other fucker I will probably wander off into the foothills and die in a winter cold snap. I have to put time into this idea that I think will get me out. Ideally my art would be my escape but unfortunately art does not pay rent and after a year I am still struggling to find an audience for my work. After almost a decade I can’t find a publisher for my books either. So now I have to decide where I want to put my energy.
What does all that mean for the project though? Well, unfortunately it means that my regular daily posting schedule is going to fall to shit unless something changes. I really hope this start up takes off so I can quit the 9 to 5 and have more time to work on the project but the potential for that happening is a few years out.
Going forward I do plan on keeping the project alive. At MINIMUM there will be one new film a week. I can commit to that now. Ideally it would be daily and some weeks it might be, but at the very least there will be one new short film every Monday.
If you’re reading this far that means you’re one of my few fans, and to you I am sorry. Sorry I can’t keep up the daily schedule. I am only one man, one man with a lot of debt and rent to pay and as much as I want to I can’t do it all. I only wish I had started this when I was younger and had the time to dedicate to it. Sadly it took me this long to get to this idea.
I am not gone though, and if things start going my way, if I can get a few wins, you will see more of me.
I have always been different. I don’t crave wealth, I crave time and space. I want to create and grow my art. I don’t need a massive mansion or a life on a beach. I just need rent and food. Hopefully in the next few years I will be able to build something that can provide me that. Something that can give me the space and time to dedicate to bringing this project back to where it should be, to where it is supposed to be.
Thank you for reading and thank you for watching. If you want to help all I can ask is that you share my films with friends and family. Share ones you have liked around. Every new view helps me more than you know.
Sorry if this is a little too behind the curtain for you. I just wanted to share where I am at for anyone that was interested.
Now back to work. This project is not going to create itself.